Falling to Pieces
by lietpoledance
Summary: When Feliciano's world comes crashing around him, who will be there to pick up the pieces? With his country in chaos, who will bring peace?
1. Falling to Pieces

Another restless night, it seemed, for Feliciano as he lay on his bed. Scattered papers covered the small area, and his mind felt like it was bursting as he suffered through the pain. The pleasure. All of the mixed emotions. He'd avoided doing this for as long as he could, but everything finally caught up to him.

Sadly, nothing ever lasted, as he was a country, nothing he could do to himself hurt him. So, the cuts simply healed almost immediately after they were made, leaving only the faint white of a mark, which would also disappear. He sighed, when had he gotten this low? He was ready to just ask Ivan to completely invade him at this point. Feliciano finally felt tired of being a country.

Although, there was always his friends to cheer him up. But ever since he finally understood his feelings about Ludwig, he just couldn't act the same around him. Every time Ludwing pulled his curl, not knowing what it did to Feliciano, he would immediately picture Ludwig doing dirty things to him. It made him so frustrated, and Kiku had caught on, though he hadn't told Ludwig(thankfully).

He threw the dulling knife off to the side and began to pick through the mass of papers, carefully examining each of his pieces. All of them the same man,with different angles. Different techniques, some making his cheek bones more prominent, others making those blue eyes shine like an ocean. Feliciano carefully placed them off to the side of his bed and curled up, hoping he could finally catch some sleep and be ridden of this sickening feeling.

Of course, that wasn't the case here. His mind was still wide awake, images of Ludwig splayed across his eye-lids. Ludwig laughing, drinking, blushing, sleeping, simply breathing. They all made Feliciano's hardened heart burst and he felt joyous for a moment, like he could do anything. All of those emotios soon faded, as he remembered how angry and flustered Ludwig would get if Feliciano tried touching him or sleeping near him. He could never actually be with Ludwig, he knew that of course. Oh, but how he hoped one day things would change.

It was then that he heard his brother enter their home, probably slightly drunk, as he was out with Antonio for the night doing who knows what. There were loud banging noises as he stumbled his way up the stairs and managed to open the door to their shared room without completely toppling over. With that, he flopped onto the bed, completely out of it.

There was a meeting tomorrow, oh how that would go over. The Northern part of Italy pretending to be all happy and stupid, all the while feeling empty inside, and the Southern part with an awful hang over that Francis would most likely try to somehow take advantage of. Feliciano rolled over in his bed, hoping to catch some sleep.

That night, his dreams were filled with soft tufts of blonde hair and pale skin, flushed at the face, like always. In that moment, he was happy, content. All of the cares drifted away from his mind as Feliciano drifted slowly into a hazy sleep.

**_Hello, thanks for reading, this is short simply because I just want to see if people actually like it. Reviews are definitely welcome, and I'm open to any_**_**ideas**__._


	2. Better Than Words

Feliciano awoke to the sound of clothes rustling and someone sneaking out the bedroom window. He turned his head, catching a glimpse of green eyes and brown hair before looking at his flustered brother.

"Fratello, did Antonio just climb out of our window?"

Lovino's face lit up, a red hue blossoming over his cheeks.

"_God, _no why would that tomato bastard be here?" the elder brother scoffed and nervously ran into the kitchen. Feliciano sighed and sat up, wondering why his brother even pretended to hate Antonio when it was obvious they were together. Hell, the _whole_ world probably knew. When they were at the meetings, Lovino was constantly blushing and Antonio would just be grinning like a kid in a candy shop with their hands intertwined under the large table.

_I just wish Ludwig would hold my hand. _

He stood up, stretched, and made his way to the bathroom to begin his morning routine. A shower was just what he needed before such a stressful event. They would probably be late, like usual, but he didn't mind. This just gave him more time to think about Ludwig and his flaws and perfections and everything in between. Feliciano turned the handles to start the water, then turned around to examine himself in the small mirror. The grey under his eyes were becoming more noticeable from lack of sleep. Someone would surely say something soon if he didn't start covering them. Luckily, Elizaveta had left some of her concealer here last time she visited. It seemed just tan enough to work.

The water was luke warm on his skin, cascading down his body. It felt nice, but it didn't wash away the nerves of seeing Ludwig in a few hours. It's not like much would change. He'd go in, pretend to be blissfully care-free of everything and silently admire Ludwig from his seat. Kiku would probably notice and nudge him, but Feliciano would ignore it today. Being able to be near Ludwig was simply better than words could express. It made the Italian remember how to be happy and honestly care-free.

If only it would last longer. Feliciano realized he'd finished his shower and turned it off, stepping into the cold air of the house. He walked into the kitchen stark naked, Lovino would get over it, and grabbed some food from the fridge. Left over pasta, always a favorite. His brother was seated at the table, hastily scarfing down his bowl of pasta and trying to avoid looking at Feliciano.

He joined his brother at the table. Lovino looked up, his cheeks still slightly red. "Feli, don't repeat anything you saw this morning to people at the meeting, okay?" He just nodded, pretending to care. Nobody minded the relationship between Antonio and Lovino, well that is, nobody except Lovino.

The brothers finished their bowls and threw them in the over-flowing sink, parting ways to get things done. The younger threw on his clothes and fixed his hair, avoiding his ahoge. He walked back into the bathroom, picking up the concealer and popping the cap off, sliding the cold liquid onto his fingers and smudging it under his eyes. It covered nicely, he could hardly notice the sleep circles. With a nod of approval, he slipped on his shoes and headed out of the door with his brother.

Feliciano sat in the meeting, barely hearing Alfred rambling on about heroes and new food. He was transfixed by Ludwig, who had his head pressed into his hand and a glare shooting towards the American. Francis stared longingly at Arthur, who blushed and avoided the Long-haired blonde's gaze. It was just another usual meeting. The only difference was Kiku, who was stuck between Heracles and Sadık*, while they stared at each other angrily, each having a hand on Kiku's thin arms.

Ludwig stood up then, addressing Alfred. "What is the point of this meeting if you're going to spout out useless stuff this entire time?!" His German accent came out as he yelled at the other blonde. Francis chimed in with a faint 'oui' and the others nodded. Francis stood up also, "There are certainly other things we could be doing that are far more entertaining, n'est-ce pas Arthur?" Arthur's eyebrows shot to his hair-line and his face grew red, while Francis chuckled. Ludwig just sighed and sat back down, hanging his head in defeat. Feliciano perked up at this, maybe he could do something to make him feel better.

"Ve~ Ludwig, we could go back to your place and make some wurst and pasta!" Feliciano's natural attitude was back at the thought of getting to be alone with Ludwig. The blonde looked up at the Italian and smiled faintly. "That sounds like a good idea. Might as well, since we aren't getting anything done here." Ludwig stood up and placed his hand firmly on Feliciano's back, leading him out of the chaotic meeting room.

The trip to Ludwig's was short and quiet, much to the smaller man's dismay. But they were happily working next to each other in the kitchen. Feliciano wished it could be like this everyday. Wished that they could share a bed again, and practically live together again, but he was the one who decided to move out because of his feelings. Of course, he didn't tell Ludwig that, instead he lied and told the German that he was going to his country and giving Ludwig some space. Feliciano couldn't quite tell that day, but Ludwig had seemed rather upset by his news, although he could have imagined it.

"...boiling over" Ludwig's voice cut through Feliciano's mind babbling and he looked up into blue eyes, slightly confused. "Ve?" Ludwig chuckled and ruffled the shorter man's hair. "Your sauce is about to boil over." Sure enough, when Feliciano looked at the pot he was standing over, the sauce was just as the rim. He quickly turned the temperature down and set the lid over the pot.

"Sorry" he smiled sheepishly, "I'm a bit distracted today?" Ludwig's face shifted to a concerned look. Oh, how he missed those looks. "Is everything okay? Is your brother mistreating you?" Feliciano almost laughed. "no, no. Nothing like that, I just miss living here, that's all."

"You could always move back in."

Feliciano almost knocked over the steaming pot, heat rushing into his face. "W-what? Ludwig I left to give you space... I assumed that you were annoyed by having me around all the time. I didn't want to bother you." The taller man's eyebrows pulled together. "You don't bother me, Feliciano. I mean, at first you were kind of annoying, skipping training and all, but I got used to you, and I eventually ended up really enjoying your company." All that time, and Feliciano was wrong about what Ludwig thought. He wanted to scream and cry and shout his delight to the people in town, but he didn't. There was still one thing that made him frustrated. His feelings. Those pesky things kept him from fully being himself. "How about this," Ludwig began, "you can spend the night tonight. Even sleep in my bed if you want." The Italian was speechless, his heart sped up, and his mind shouted to tell Ludwig yes.

"Great, we'd better serve this food before it burns, then." Had Feliciano unintentionally spoken aloud? He watched as Ludwig lay the cooked food onto plates, setting them on his dining table. The shorter man sighed. "Ludwig, if I make you uncomfortable by sleeping in your bed, I won't. I'll sleep in my room." They sat themselves and began eating, and conversing, like old times. "It really doesn't bother me anymore. It did at first because I'd wake up with a random guy in my bed, but I got over it."

Feliciano picked at his wurst, having already scarfed the pasta down. He decided it would be okay to spend the night. "Alright, I'll spend the night, maybe we could take your dogs for a walk, I'm sure they'd love that. Oh oh and then we could wait for Gilbert to return and pull a prank on him or we could all watch movie or-"

"As long as it doesn't cause any damage to the house." They both sat laughing for a few minutes, reminiscing on old memories. Once the food was gone from both plates, Ludwig stood and took them to the sink. Feliciano grabbed the dog leashes, and walked to the backyard to be greeted by Blackie, Berlitz, and Aster. He tried to get them to calm down, but they just carried on, knocking him to the ground and licking him. He giggled and attempted to push the dogs off, but to no avail.

"Aster, Blackie, Berlitz! Down" The dogs ran over to Ludwig and sat at his feet, obediently waiting his next command. Feliciano stood, dusting off his clothes and laughing, he began to hook the leash to the collars on the dogs. Ludwig took Blackie and Berlitz, and Feliciano had Aster. They began walking. It was a beautiful day. Perfect weather, not a cloud in sight. He found himself humming and almost skipping along, his amber eyes nearly closed.

As their walk came to an end, Feliciano, almost on instinct, wrapped his arms around Ludwig. He blushed and quickly let go when he realized what he did. "What was that for?" Ludwig asked, confused. The Italian coughed. "I missed your dogs, that's it."

"If you missed the dogs, why did you hug me instead of them."

"..um" he quickly dropped and flung his arms around Aster, who happily bucked around and licked at his face. Ludwig laughed and Feliciano tried to hide his face, feeling extremely embarrassed. He stood up and brushed his clothes off again, yawning. It was time for a siesta. "I'm going to need my rest to be able to pull a prank on Gilbert or watch a movie tonight" he said, and Ludwig nodded. "You know where the bed is." Feliciano was beginning to walk toward the bedroom when a very intoxicated Gilbert burst through the doors, slinging a heavy arm over Feliciano's shoulders.

"Well, if it isn't the cute little Italy. You haven't been over in a while, it's been rather quiet, and I think West over there was beginning to mourn." He slurred out before promptly falling face first onto the hardwood floor, dragging the Italian with him.

Ludwig sighed, wondering why he had to be related to Gilbert, of all people. He bent over, roughly yanking Gilbert's arm off of Feliciano, and heaving the smaller man up. Feliciano stumbled before gaining balance and laughed. "That was.. Interesting" Ludwig nodded, before chiming in "Could have been worse. I'll take care of this idiot, you go get your rest. Feliciano nodded and began walking once again, hearing Ludwig mumble something about dumb brothers and disowning.

Once in Ludwig's room, he pulled off most of his clothes, save his boxers, and climbed into the familiar bed. He pulled the warm comforter up to his chest and curled into himself, taking in the scent of Ludwig. He was at ease now, sleep would come. Maybe he should move back in. His mind wandered off, imagining the possibilities of living here again. If only he could just figure out what to do about his stupid feelings...

**_* Heracles and **Sadık are Greece and**_** Turkey****


	3. Reoccurring Nightmares

**_I really need to get a new way of opening and ending stories. haha. Also, thank you for the reviews. They encourage me and help me figure out what I'm trying to do with this story. ~_**

It was the same dream. The dream Feliciano had been having for the past few months now. The ways Ludwig would react if he knew about his feelings. He sat up in Ludwig's bed. Obviously, most of these "dreams" were more like nightmares, as he watched those blue eyes fill with disgust and anger, and he always woke up covered in his tears. He did have good dreams, though. Like the rather dirtier dreams he would never tell anyone about. However, neither of these dreams did anything to help his current predicament. He was still confused. Still angry at himself for developing such troublesome feelings. Especially towards another man! Not that he had anything wrong with homosexuals, he just never thought he'd become one.

_Well, maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just er... Ludwig-sexual? Does that work? _Feliciano groaned, suppressing the immature thoughts. Lately, he'd been extremely tired. All in fault of those dreams. After he had them he couldn't bring himself to go back to sleep, so he would just drag himself out of bed and begin the useless cycle of his new hobby. Cutting, watching it disappear almost immediately, and repeating the process. It was pathetic, really. He'd sunken so low in his emotions, when he should just be asking someone mature and responsible for advice. Maybe he'd ask Francis? No... That man would just tell him that sex would make everything better. Alfred would probably tell everyone the second he got the chance, and Arthur, well, honestly the man scared him in a way. Kiku didn't have much experience involving love and other stupid emotions.

Feliciano couldn't try to avoid Ludwig. He would know something was going on then. Everything was just so _irritating. _He stood up and reached for his clothes, fishing into his pockets for the hard little object. Why he brought this along with him, Feliciano could not figure out. He flipped open the blade and touched it to his skin, the cold metal sending chills through his body. He began the rhythmic process, sliding the blade over his tanned skin, watching as it faded away merely seconds after. The only thing he got out of doing this was the dull sensation of pain that lasted for a few seconds as the blade cut him. This was a waste of his time, but also a pleasure. He threw the blade down into his clothes and left the room. When Feliciano reached the bottom of the stairs he took in the scene. Ludwig and Gilbert were sitting on the small couch, the dogs splayed out across the room. The T.V. was showing a sitcom the Italian had never heard of. Gilbert hopped up and clapped the Italian on the shoulder.

"Sorry about earlier, man. I had one too many beers." Feliciano nodded and laughed it off. Ludwig coughed and stood up. " Feliciano, Francis told me to tell you something."

"Yes, what is it?"

"Um... Mon minet..? I think that's what he said I should start calling you. Do you know what it means?"

"Ludwig."

"Did I do something wrong, Feliciano?"

"No.. It's just that what you said means, '_my pussycat_' in French"

Ludwig looked shocked, then embarrassed, as his brother sat laughing at him.

Gilbert finally caught his breath and his expression turned serious. His eyes caught Ludwig's. "You know, bruder. You could call him _Seelenfruend_"

"W-What! That's- Gilbert... I'm _NOT_ calling Feliciano that."

"Can someone tell me what that means?" Feliciano asked.

"Sorry, Feli," Gilbert chuckled. "maybe some other time."

The smaller man frowned and walked over to Aster, petting the dog on its furry head. He flopped into the chair and sighed just as Gilbert walked over to his chair. "I've been meaning to ask, what's with this frivolous curl of yours?" Feliciano's eyes widened and he looked to Ludwig, hoping he would stop his brother. But it was too late. Gilbert already had two fingers clasped tightly onto the hair. Feliciano's mind went blank and a sense of euphoria exploded around him. Somewhere in the distance, he heard a moan, then realized it was his.

"Oh" was all Gilbert could manage as he awkwardly released the hair and walked over to the corner of the room. Feliciano's mind cleared up and the black spots faded from his eyes. He blushed and looked down, not sure what to say. Ludwig cleared his throat and apologized several times for his brother's idiocy.

Feliciano nodded and jokingly laughed, but he was still mildly embarrassed to have Ludwig see that. He could feel a small migraine coming on, but dismissed it as stress. He decided he would go try to make Gilbert feel better and not be so confused about what had just happened. Feliciano stood up, ignoring the faint pounding in his head. Before he could take another step, his body froze. Images flashed in his head, guns and violence, a full on attack happening. His vision faltered as his body shuddered and hit the ground. Blood seeped from his nose and his stomach turned over, sending him into a coughing fit. He could barely feel the two brothers as they crowded around him, trying to figure out what was wrong. Feliciano wheezed and rolled over, coughing up blood and parts of his and Ludwig's food from earlier. He couldn't hear anything, but he felt a pair hands frantically lift him up and place him on the couch while another placed something cold along his forehead.

His muscles were tense, but his vision was clearing, as well as his hearing. He focused on Ludwig's soft, yet concerned voice. What was he asking? Feliciano could barely make out '_What's happening?!'_. He strained to talk, his throat feeling like needles were being poured down it with every word.

"Italy." More coughing. "We're under atta-" He tried to roll over, but the space was too small. He couldn't hold back the blood that shot from his throat, covering the brothers and himself. There was no feeling in his body anymore, everything had gone numb. Nothing mattered anymore. It was like he was a single being, floating in one small universe. Blackness engulfed him and released him, forming a pattern. A thought occurred to him. Surely, if he was going through this, Lovino must be going through it as well. Feliciano tried to laugh, but the sound wouldn't come. Lovino would be fine, he had Antonio, right? So then.. why did Feliciano have to through this, even though he had Ludwig with him?

There was more shouting and Feliciano managed to catch one sentence that made his mind go completely blank with fear. Gilbert stood in front of the couch, grimly. "Antonio called. He said that same thing is happening to Lovino."

**_p.s- I have no idea what I'm doing. On another note, if that German is wrong and anyone knows the right way to say soulmate, let me know. Thanks._**


	4. Love Sick

_**Thanks to Sayu Kirkland for letting me know that this story doesn't actually suck as much as I thought it might. Muah.**_

Antonio: _Will you stay no longer? Nor will you not that I go with you?_

Sebastian: _By your patience, no. My stars shine darkly over me; the malignancy of my fate might, perhaps, distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you your leave that I may bear my evils alone. It were a bad recompense for your love to lay any of them on you._

_- _William Shakespeare, _Twelfth Night_

* * *

><p>Antonio shuddered as he wiped the blood from the floor, where his lover earlier lay helpless. He had lifted the boy up and carried him to their shared bed. It had been such a normal day. Lovino and Antonio were having a lovely lunch together, when Lovino toppled out of his chair, coughing. Antonio tried to figure out what to do, but the boy seemed unable to control his body as he wretched and contorted into awkward angles. He sighed and threw the bloodied rag into the wash room before heading to his bedroom. The Italian was laid up in the center of the bed, his face a mask of pain. Antonio gently pushed the bangs away from his sweaty face. His eyes no longer held the love in them, or the fake annoyance they usually showed. He looked tired and older, like he had just aged 20 years within several minutes.<p>

"A-Antonio." The rough words were barely a whisper.

"Yes, love? What is it you ask for?"

"Get me to my brother... Please."

"I'll see what I can do. You don't mind being around Ludwig?"

"In all honesty, I never really hated him. I was just angry at him for not noticing Fratello's feelings towards him."

"Oh, I'll go call him now then." Antonio turned to leave, but Lovino caught his wrist and pulled the other man closer to him. "Thank you. I know I don't say it often, but I really do love you, Antonio." The Spaniard blushed and nodded, pecking Lovino's flushed cheeks. "Te amo, Lovino."

"Anch'io ti amo." He turned, walking out of the small room and proceeding to grab the telephone. Antonio punched in the number and waited. After about three rings the German answered. "Hallo?"

"Ah, yes. Ludwig, it is Antonio. Lovino has given me the task of getting him to his brother. Would you mind if I brought him over? I don't think he has the strength to harass you yet, so you have no worries."

"J-ja. Come on over, I'll have Feliciano make room in the bed. Just let me know when you arrive."

"Thank you, Ludwig."

"It is no problem. See you soon."

Antonio placed the phone back into it's holder and threw his coat on. He went back to the bedroom and lifted Lovino up, placing his coat over his slumped shoulders. "Ludwig has said you can stay. We will be there soon, if you must, you can sleep on the way there." The boy nodded, clearly too tired to speak. He wrapped an arm around Lovino's waist and draped the boy's arm over his shoulders. "Please tell me if you are uncomfortable at any time, Lovi. I do not want to injure you."

Lovino strained his neck and placed a kiss on Antonio's cheek before nodding, and then they proceeded to Ludwig's house.

* * *

><p>Ludwig carefully picked up Feliciano and set him to the side of his bed. The boy responded by coughing a nasty, gray-colored liquid into the bucket placed by the bedside. The German sighed and rubbed his temples. Gilbert had ran off to try to figure out who was attacking, but all the information he got was that they were random attacks in major parts of Italy. The Italians had guards stationed but it wasn't very effective since the attacks had no real patterns. Feliciano's downfall was happening quicker than Ludwig knew possible. It was like watching a cancer patient who knows their time is near, only sped up and scarier.<p>

He placed a hand on the tan skin of the smaller man's forearm. "Feliciano, can you hear me?" The Italian strained to nod his head, but he managed. "Antonio is bringing your brother over, he said Lovino wanted to be near you." Ludwig could see the twitch is Feliciano's face as he attempted to smile. It was a chilling sight, since he was so used to the happy, energetic Feliciano.

"Do you need anything? Anything at all?" he asked. Feliciano feebly shook his head back and forward. It was as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn't quite make out the words as his eyelids started to feel like there was cement bricks on them. The Italian tried to stay awake so he could see his brother, but it got seemingly more difficult every time he blinked, until he finally fell asleep.

Ludwig pulled the blanket up over the boy's unevenly rising chest. He stood up and patted Feliciano's head lightly before walking out of the room. Ludwig found his brother in the living room looking utterly shocked. "Gilbert, there was nothing we could do to prevent this..."

"I know, it's just-" his voice cracked, "Feliciano doesn't deserve this kind of pain. He's too nice, too pure! It's not right... Why would anyone _want_ to do this to him?"

"I don't know, bruder... But hopefully he and Lovino both will be able to get better when they are close to each other. This is the only thing we've got until we figure out who is attacking. Whoever is behind this is very clever, not revealing their Country uniforms or any other signs of who they may be. All we can do is wait."

"Ludwig! If we wait they could die! Well, I mean, Feliciano could die and someone else would be reborn. But he's one of my only friends and I can't just sit here feeling useless, but there's not much else I can do. Is there?"

"No."

Gilbert let out a defeated sigh and held his face in his hands to avoid letting his brother see the slow stream of tears rolling down his cheeks. Things were so much easier back before, when Ludwig was still the Holy Roman Empire. He had feelings for Feliciano like he should, but now he was just oblivious to the Italian's feelings. Hell, even Gilbert could see it!

There was a small knock on the door. "That's probably Antonio. I'll get it." Ludwig rose and walked over to the door, surprised when he was not met with green eyes, but brown ones instead. "Kiku?"

"Hai. I have come to see Feliciano, is he doing any better?"

"No, if anything, he's doing worse. But he's in the bedroom if you'd like to see him."

Kiku nodded and made his way upstairs. He cringed when he saw the figure in the bed. "Feliciano? Are you awake?" The Italian stirred and his eyes opened. He nodded slightly and managed a weak smile. Kiku chuckled, only this kid could be happy when he was practically lying on his death bed. He mentally slapped himself. Feliciano would_ not _die.

"I've come here to check on you, since you are a dear friend. Also, had I known something of this standard would happen, I would have made Ludwig recognize your feelings." Feliciano's sweaty face gave a slight pink blush at this statement and Kiku smiled. "You guys would work great together, I think. I might not be much help for romance, but there's definitely something... more between you two."

"K... Kiku? You're st- tuck in your own little love triangle, right? Between Heracles and Sadık?"

Kiku sighed at this. "Well yes, I suppose you could look at it like that. I like both Heracles and Sadık equally, but they can't seem to put their pasts behind them so we could all be friends."

"B-but there's something.. more, isn't there?"

Kiku hesitated before answering. "Hmm, yes. I think it's because Heracles and I slept together once. It must have made Sadık mad or something. All of this started when he found out. Anyway, enough about my troubles, how are you holding out?"

"As well as I can I guess. Ludwig said Lovino would be here soo-" Feliciano's hands shot out for the bucket and he placed his face near it, letting out everything his stomach could possibly hold. Kiku was almost certain he might just cough up and organ at this point. "Uh- I'll get Ludwig?" He raced to the door of the bedroom and called out for the blonde man. Both of the Germans raced upstairs. Gilbert stood in the corner of the room with his hand over his mouth, looking slightly pale. Ludwig sat on the bed slowly and rubbed soothing circles into Feliciano's back as the boy continued to somehow manage to throw up even more.

The sickness finally passed and Feliciano flopped onto the pillow, utterly worn out. His chest was rising and falling much too fast, Kiku noted. Gilbert grabbed the bucket and headed downstairs to dump it, glad to get away from the horrible sight. Ludwig pulled Feliciano up into his lap and pushed his sticky hair back away from his eyes.

"Shh, it's okay, Feli. It's okay. Lovino will be here soon, just try to relax, even out your breathing."

Feliciano's face scrunched up, as if trying to breathe normally were draining all of his energy. It probably was. It took several minutes to realize that he had fallen asleep. Ludwig carefully freed himself and stood up, straightening out his clothing and setting the brunette's head on the pillow delicately. Gilbert walked into the room then, followed by an ill-faced Antonio and a passed out Lovino in his arms. Ludwig nodded as he set the boy down next to his brother. Antonio pulled the covers up over him.

One by one, everyone left the room. Antonio stopped to kiss Lovino's pale skin, tracing down to his lips. Kiku nodded at the brothers in a silent understanding and walked out. Gilbert looked at his friend one more time, a single tear falling down and landing on Feliciano's face. He gently wiped it off, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. He leaned down and placed his head on the Italian's face and let the tears fall. Ludwig stood silently by his brother as he cried, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. The albino lifted his head up and wiped his eyes before exiting the room with Ludwig.

Lovino stirred and opened his eyes for a moment, looking at his brother. He reached out and intertwined their hands. Lovino closed his eyes and silently prayed. If he couldn't save himself, his brother at least deserved to make it through this.

**_I was in Canada for three days and couldn't update. Is it bad that when I got there I thought I might run into Matthew? Haha, reality sucks. Anyway, reviews are very appreciated, and they help to let me know that this story should actually be continued. Sorry if there are lots of grammatical issues. I just really wanted to update, but lord knows why i chose to update at 1 in the morning. Anyway, please enjoy. _**


	5. Absent

_"And there's no remedy for memory. Your face is like a melody, it won't leave my head. Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine. But I wish I was dead" - _**Lana Del Rey**

* * *

><p>Ludwig entered his bedroom, avoiding the sight of the sickly brothers laid together in his bed. His brother was still seated next to the sleeping Feliciano's bed side, holding his clammy hand, the skin over his knuckle slightly white from gripping so hard. Ludwig began to clean. It seemed to remove some of his stress, and lately, he had a lot of that. There was still no news as to who was attacking, Antonio was still sulking on Ludwig's couch, and the brothers were slowly deteriorating. He sighed and finally looked to the bed, noticing Aster curled up by their feet, sleeping softly.<p>

He picked up the stray items of clothing littering the floor, when a hard object fell out of one of them. The blonde bent over and retrieved it, flipping it around in his hand. A pocket knife? Two letters were carved into the knife. F.V.

Curious, Ludwig flipped the blade out, and noticed a dried, reddish substance on it. He shook his head, it couldn't be blood. Who would Feliciano use this thing on anyway? He shoved the blade into his pant's pocket, and decided on asking the boy if, no, when he got better.

"Gilbert, it's been about three days. You should at least eat something. How do you think Feliciano would feel if he woke up and you were sitting there looking as bad as he does?"

He didn't say anything, but just continued to stroke Feliciano's arm. Suddenly, he cleared his throat and looked at Ludwig with a concerned expression. "Ludwig, have you ever noticed these? They have to be recent, if they weren't they wouldn't show..." Gilbert raised Feliciano's arms and Ludwig could make out faint white lines covering them, all about a centimeter apart.

Ludwig's eyes widened. Was that Feliciano's blood on the blade? He approached his brother and took the arm out of his hand, counting exactly fifteen marks. Usually, damage done to any of their bodies healed right away, but if their countries were doing poorly, they would be slower to disappear.

"Hmm. It seems like Feliciano thought they had healed the last time he did it, but he was already starting to feel sick, so the visibility was just decreased. That's what I think anyway." Gilbert nodded in agreement and Ludwig reached into his pocket, pulling out the knife and opening it to show to his brother. "I found this in a pile of clothes. It has what seems to be dried blood, and his initials carved into it."

"Lovino told me that his brother had gotten into that, but I thought he was lying to cover it up. I thought Lovino was doing it to himself... I would have never expected Feliciano to do that." Antonio was standing in the doorway.

Gilbert hastily stood up, knocking over the wooden chair. "You mean this little shit knew his brother was doing this and didn't attempt to stop him? Or tell anyone? What's wrong with him?!"

"Just because I'm dying... Doesn't mean I'm deaf, yet, anyway."

"Lovino!" Antonio jumped up and took his lover's hand, softly stroking the knuckles. "For the record, Gilbert, I tried to help him. He just pushed me away. He's not used to these emotions." Lovino's voice was rough as figured.

"Do you know why he started doing this?" Gilbert asked.

Lovino nodded. "Just as well as you do."

"Can somebody please tell me what's going on?" Ludwig looked at everyone's faces. Gilbert and Lovino sighed in unison, and Antonio just rubbed his temple with his free hand.

"Gilbert, how can your brother be so freaking oblivious?!" Antonio nearly screamed.

"W-what? How am I oblivious?"

"That's something you need to figure out yourself, bruder." Gilbert stomped out of the room, smacking Ludwig's head along the way. Antonio bent over and kissed Lovino before walking out as well.

Ludwig lowered his head and stared at the knife in his hands before placing it on the small table near the door. With a yawn, he walked out and headed for the living room.

* * *

><p>Hours passed by before Feliciano actually opened his eyes. He had heard everything, considering he wasn't actually sleeping. Sleeping just didn't seem possible right now. He was anxious. Feliciano needed to get up, he needed to go.<p>

He slowly crawled out of the bed, careful not to disturb Lovino. The closet was across the room. He made his way to it and pushed open the doors, grabbing a spare Italian army uniform he kept when he still lived here. The buttons on the front came together easily and he looked at himself in the mirror. His skin had lost some of its tan, and his eyes were empty, emotionless orbs of amber. Dark hues hung under them from restless sleeping.

His shoes were next to the bed, unlaced. He grabbed them and slipped them on, tying them tightly. He had a long journey ahead of him. A sliver of moonlight shown through the window, spot lighting Feliciano's little knife. He picked it up gingerly and placed it in his breast pocket.

Quietly, Feliciano made his way through the house and into the living room, where Ludwig lay sleeping on the couch, his hair messy from being slept on. His eyebrows were pulled together as if he were deep in thought, even while sleeping. The thought made Feliciano giggle, and he silently crept over to the couch and placed a small kiss on the pale skin of Ludwig's cheek.

If Feliciano didn't make it out of this alive, he would definitely miss this. He grasped the doorknob and slowly pulled it open, stepping out into Germany's cold night.

A heavy weight tackled him to the ground, and he met the eyes of Aster.

"Aster! Shh! Please be quieter! I'll only be gone for a little while, and when I come back I'll have something for you, okay?" The dog liked Feliciano's face and nuzzled into his chest. They sat there like this for a minute, Feliciano was rhythmically stroking Aster's fur. Several minutes later, after his legs had fallen asleep from the dog sitting in them, he tried to stand. It was a bit wobbly, but he managed. He pet the dog one more time before setting off. Aster barked a few more times, and Feliciano began to run.

It hurt. His legs felt like rusty nails were being dragged down them as he moved, and his lungs rattled in protest of his sudden movements. However, Feliciano could not stop now. He had to get there, no matter how much pain was involved.

He barely heard Ludwig open the front door and his worried voice asking Aster what was wrong as he made his way back to his own land.

* * *

><p>Lovino stirred restlessly in the bed. His sleep had been filled with horrible images of him dying in Antonio's arms, the Spaniard weeping on his bloody chest, or Feliciano helplessly drowning in his own blood while Lovino lay opposite of him, dead. He shuddered, tried sitting up for a moment, but returned to the pillow after several failed tries.<p>

When would all of this be over? Lovino sighed and reached for his brother's hand. After several moments of patting the bed to find his hand, he looked over. Feliciano was not there. Lovino screamed and called out several names, tossing and turning in his bed. Where had his brother gone?!

Tan hands were pushing on his shoulders, laying him back down, and the lights turned on.

"Lovi! What is wrong, love?" The hands belonged to Antonio, who frantically tried to make sure Lovino wasn't injured further. Ludwig was looking around the room for signs of danger. Almost everyone was yelling.

Gilbert's voice broke through the chaos. "Where is Feliciano?"


	6. Cinder and Smoke

**_I'm really sick and I've been sleeping a lot so I haven't really gotten to do much writing. However, I managed to actually wake up and grab my computer to type this chapter that may or may not suck. _**

_"Give me your_ _hand_  
>Your<em> mother is drunk as all the firemen shake<br>A photo from father's arms  
>Cinder and smoke<br>You'll ask me to pray for rain  
>With ash in your mouth<br>You'll ask it to burn again" - Iron and Wine_

* * *

><p>Smoke filled the air and wafted around his body. Feliciano coughed, dragging his worn legs further into the wreckage. Venice went from a beautiful, peaceful city, to a disaster. Buildings were wrecked and torn apart to unrecognizable rubble. The statue on top of the Church of Sant'Antonin lay smashed to pieces on the ground. It was a shame to see, since there was so much work placed in fixing it up.<p>

Remnants of Italian uniforms fluttered around in the debris. Feliciano coughed, trying to rid his lungs of the burning smoke. Behind the now fallen church, an Italian soldier lay on the ground, his lower limbs dismembered.

"Mio dio!" He dropped to his knees, taking the younger lad's hand and grasping it firmly. "Thank you for laying your life on the line for your country, you have served well. Know that you will not die in vain, for I will avenge you in due time, as well as your other fallen comrades."

They boy sucked in one last breath, meeting Feliciano's eyes as his time ran out. He looked peaceful. When Feliciano was sure he was gone, he rose, silently prayed, and continued walking. A gun lay several feet away from him and he walked over, carefully picking it up and inspecting it. There were rounds left in it, so he cocked it and held it at point, ready to fire if one of these mysterious attackers came near him.

The wind blew over a distant conversation.

"_There's a breach! They'll break through! This has been a losing battle since the beginning... There's no poin-_" A gunshot echoed around him and he shuddered, but followed it apprehensively.

He rounded the corner just as the concealed army man struck the final blow to the one remaining Italian soldier in the Pickets division.

_So much for the warning, _he thought. The gun was heavy but he lifted it into position, taking aim to the man in black. His line was perfect for a clean head-shot. Just as Feliciano's finger touched the trigger, a hard object was shoved against his head. An almost familiar voice came from behind him and a sack was placed over his face. "Do not move. You are coming with me."

* * *

><p>"Where could he have gone? Could he even walk in the state he was in?" Ludwig asked, seemingly for the hundredth time. All three men- Gilbert, Antonio, and Ludwig- paced around the room, while Lovino sat slouching against the couch.<p>

Lovino sighed, "You know, he probably went to Italy. He always said if he had to die, he wanted to die in his own land."

"Ludwig, I think the best plan we have is to gather troops and head into Italy, since I'm sure the Italian army is nearly wiped out completely."

"That might have been one of the smartest things you've said, Gilbert. I'll go make arrangements. Antonio, are you joining?"

"I will send my men, but I will stay here with Lovino, if he chooses not to go, that is."

Lovino's eyes widened. "Don't stay here! Lead your men into war! I'll go. If my little brother can muster up such strength, then I can as well."

The determination in Lovino's eyes were honorable: however, he was in just as bad of shape as his brother. What could he possibly manage to accomplish when he could barely keep his vision focused? Every fiber of his body was strained, he could barely stand on his own, but he would push through, for his country. For his _Fratello._

With a sharp breath, and maximum effort, he rose off of the couch. Black spots clouded his vision, yet he held firm.

Somehow, he calmed his breathing and managed to speak, "We should get going as soon as possible."

Nods from the Bielschmidt brothers and a kiss on the cheek from Antonio sealed the deal, and they prepared themselves for war.

* * *

><p>Blinking took about all of the strength his body could muster. However, the sack still covered his head, leaving Feliciano blind. There was murmuring in an unknown language and a bunch of shouting. He could hear several Italian words coming from the prisoners being tortured for information. None of them seemed to budge, and it filled Feliciano with a sense of pride. His men were stronger than they appeared.<p>

Keys jingled and a lock opened. Feliciano tried to shake the sack off, but it was yanked away. Piercing white light rendered his already unstable vision, his head was aching, and his body was stiff. Today was just not his day.

Men covered from head to toe surrounded him, pointing guns at his head from every angle. A shudder ran through his body as he noticed the tiny red lights splayed out over his clothing.

Heavy shackles adorned his arms and legs, rubbing on the skin and creating sores. He winced as one of the men kicked his back, sending him to the ground. A cold stone floor connected to his right cheek. Rough laughter from the men had Feliciano on the verge of tears. However, he would not cry. He would not show weakness to the vile men.

Countless hours of kicks and punches, perverse touching, left Feliciano utterly drained. The men would grab his hair and slam his face into the ground, then they would tauntingly ask if he was "okay."

Felicicano was so angry. Their torture didn't do much, but being in this state greatly slowed his healing speed. So here he sat with a busted lip, the blood dry and sticky, contemplating of ways to escape. It didn't help much, the shackles held out very well.

All he wanted was to be back with Ludwig.

* * *

><p>Army men walked side by side. German and Spanish, heading towards the Italian borders. Ludwig could already see the smoke in the distance. His thoughts were occupied by his friend. How was Feliciano doing? Was he even still alive? Would there be a new Italy soon?<p>

Antonio looked up to his love, riding atop a horse's back. He was slumped over, but his eyes were alert. Antonio felt a rush of pride and joy at Lovino's will to fight. When this war was over, he'd take him around Spain while nursing him back to health.

Lovino caught Antonio's gaze and smiled.

Antonio thought he had seen God. What a beautiful smile.

Night was falling over them like a thick blanket; everyone was feeling pretty tired. After a few more miles, they set up camps in Monaco. Ludwig was glad that Francis decided he would help them by letting them set up in France. The main attacks were now focused in Venice, so they would trudge on tomorrow.

Ludwig prayed, to whoever as listening, that Feliciano was safe.

* * *

><p>Dry bread and watered down coffee were shoved through the bars of Feliciano's cell. He attacked the hardly edible items, scarfing them down without hesitation. The scalding water-coffee burned his throat, but he didn't mind.<p>

Crumpled towels were placed in a small, dusty corner. He grabbed them and spread them out, creating a make-shift bed. Luckily, his shackles allowed him to move easily around his cell. Although he'd fallen down about twice.

He curled up on the small pile of rags, seeking warmth.

The comfort was short lived when men entered his cell. They grabbed his arms, releasing them from the shackles, and tied them with rope. The rope was connected to the ceiling, so he was left hanging there. A hand yanked off his shirt, the cold air biting at his chest.

He heard a snap before he realized what was coming his way.

"Count along. If you lose track, we will start over."

The English was rough, but Feliciano understood it. "Why are you doing this?" His voice betrayed him, the fear could easily be heard.

"Well, that's simply because we can."

Through his blurred vision, he saw a flash of white teeth. The smile was that of a soulless person.

He took a big breath, closing his eyes. The whip struck his bare skin. Barely a murmur could be made. "O-one."

"Good, 34 more."

_10...28...33._

Feliciano couldn't keep his mind together. He was slowly drifting into a wonderful, warm place. Arms welcomed him, he looked up into those shimmering blue eyes. Ludwig was there, in his dream, at least.


	7. A serious issue

Long welts covered Feliciano's back.

Ludwig was not there. Nobody was there. He was alone, shivering and bleeding. Blood seemed to be everywhere now, seeping down his still upright arms, leaking from his nose and mouth. Earlier, one of the men in the cell had tried to free him, but he was too weak.

Since nobody came to untie him, he hung there with no feeling in his arms, nearly falling asleep.

Feliciano would not fall asleep. There was no telling what would happen if he wasn't paying attention.

This was not how he had planned it. Somehow, his plan to defend his country came crashing down the moment that a gun was held to his head. Regret washed over him and he hung his head. Originally, he had planned to find a lone attacker and capture him, hopefully finding out who was the mastermind destroying hi Italy.

Slowly, he began losing hope. He would never see Lovino, or Antonio, or Gilbert ever again. Never would he be able to embrace Ludwig. Knowing this was worse torture than those men could throw onto him. Memories flashed through his mind. The first moment he met Ludwig, the time Ludwig proposed to him. If only Feliciano could go back and say yes!

However, it was too late. He would die here, weeping, regretting.

Keys jingled, signaling that men were coming. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for what would most likely be more pain.

He was right.

Each men seemed to carry something different; a bat, a brick, even a crowbar. Their reasons for having these items were clear. Before the first blow was struck- Feliciano did not know who or what hit him first- he closed his eyes and thought of a happy place. Obviously, that place was anywhere but here, most importantly, with his friends.

Blows were simultaneously delivered left and right, but he did not feel many of them, only the ones hitting near his back. It seemed like they would never stop, and Feliciano was loosing the ability to picture his happy place.

But they did stop. The men threw their items through the wrought bars. Feliciano looked up, peeling his eyes open. Another prisoner was being dropped off into the cell, as if there was room. Harshly thrown onto the ground, the prisoner managed to haul himself to his elbows, a sack covering his face. A guard's foot connected with the newcomer's stomach, before the sack was ripped off. The Italian had to do a double take to make sure what he was seeing was real.

"Shitty guards... Have no respect for others." Squinted eyes looked up to the Italian. They widened when the man fully took on the scene in front of him.

"Feliciano! Are you okay? I'm going to untie you."

"_G- Gilbert_." his throat was dried out, so speaking was quite the challenge. "What are you... doing here?"

White hairs tickled the brunette's nose as Gilbert unbound his arms, which fell down lazily to his side. The next thing to fall was Feliciano himself. He slumped into Gilbert's arms, taking in big gulps of breath. Sharp pains shot through his shoulders as his body worked to move the blood back into his numbed arms. Carefully, the Prussian began to lay the smaller man down onto the ground.

"_OH_!" Feliciano's arms struggled to move. "Please do not lay me on my back! My stomach will be fine." he insisted.

Gilbert nodded, flipping him over. When Feliciano made contact to the cold floor, The albino gasped. His friend's back was torn up, split down, completely ruined. Long, irregular marks covered the skin, all caked in dried blood. Some of the welts were still slightly bleeding. Quickly, he began shrugging his shoulders, sliding off the small coat he had been wearing, and laid it over the marred skin.

"Why did they do this to you?"

Feliciano craned his neck, looking up to Gilbert. "The man said, 'simply because we can.' And they left me tied up, so my arms aren't very useful right now."

"Have they been feeding you?"

"Not very much, but enough to keep me alive." As if on queue, Feliciano's stomach rumbled, and he groaned. God, he was hungry. "Gil, you never answered my question. What are you doing here?"

"Well, Ludwig and Antonio are on their way here now, with their men. I told them I would get captured in hopes to find you. Looks like I was successful."

"But what now?"

Gilbert sighed, "Now we wait. They're planning a surprise attack. Francis gave them permission to camp out there until they're ready. For now, you've got me to protect you." Somehow, Feliciano felt safe now that Gilbert was here. Maybe because he could actually put up a fight? No, because he was a dear friend, and the Italian was over joyed to know about their plans.

Lovino's face came into his head. "Oh, ah, Gilbert. How is my Fratello?"

"He actually seems to be doing a little better, could be because he's on his way here. Don't worry, he didn't walk here- oh, speaking of walking, _how the hell did you walk here?"_

No real explanation seemed to be available. "I guess it was just the heat of the moment? My legs are really sore now though, and my back hurts. Plus the moment I got here somebody pointed a gun at my head and threw me in this cell. How did you find out that I was here?"

"Well, some of the Italian soldiers fled to France after you had been captured, luckily they knew who you were. That's when we came up with the plan to have myself be caught so I could help defend you.. Although it seems I was a bit late..." Gilbert's line of vision turned to the dirty floor.

Did he blame himself for Feliciano's pain? "Gil, it's not your fault. I did this to myself. ...I probably should have told you or Ludwig that I wanted to come here, but I didn't. I'm really sorry."

After many rounds of apologizing, Feliciano tried to lift himself up so he could hug his friend, but his arms were very weak at the moment. All he could manage was to flop back down onto the floor, causing waves of pain to shoot through his body. Small, shallow breaths were all he could get out. Why was this pain so excruciating? Honestly, he felt like crying, but he wouldn't. If anything, he had to stay strong for himself and his brother.

Gilbert's strong hands pulled the smaller man into a sitting position. He shoved the wadded coat behind the Italian's back so he could lean onto the wall. A small sigh of relief was heard and Gilbert smiled.

"Feliciano, don't worry. We'll fix this. Ludwig will notice your feelings. Just give it time, okay? "

"W-what? Where did that come from?" Blood flowed into Feliciano's cheeks and he lowered his head, trying to hide the intense blush.

"Hm, it's just so clear that you really care about him. I can't believe that he can't see your true feelings. After we get out of here I'll make sure he notices them."

"Oh goodness, you do not have to do that at all! It's not like they really matter. If he does not love me deeper than friendship, I will try to move on."

"No! You've worked so hard to get closer to my idiotic brother. West will definitely need to realize this. Besides, I'm sure he feels the same way. He just doesn't really know how to express himself to another guy. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me."

Feliciano actually laughed, although it hurt. "What is with my friends all trying to have me and Ludwig together? First Kiku and now you too, Gil? Who is next? Roderich? Ha!"

"Well... He actually does want you two to get together. So does Elizaveta. It's just sad to see how much you love that dummy, and he does nothing to return those feelings."

"well... Maybe one day." Feliciano sighed. "One day."

Gilbert nodded and motioned for his friend to lay down and get some sleep. Feliciano was happy to oblige.

* * *

><p>Morning came, bringing a piercing ray of light. It certainly woke up the entire camp. Men were rushing to get dressed. Today was the day. They were going to make the attacks. Jet engines roared to life, loading their bombs.<p>

The pilots would fly over in search of enemy bases and drop their surprises down. The next step would be to find Feliciano and Gilbert.

Ludwig mentally checked off a list of orders. Everything was going as planned. Sources said that the main headquarter of the enemy was in the Venice Ghettos. He climbed up into his pilot seat and closed the hatch.

Meanwhile, Antonio prepared his men to make a sneak attack near the Ghettos in attempt to distract whoever this enemy was. Surely, their leader would come out to see who was attacking. He hoped so, anyway.

Lovino lay silently in his shared tent. Antonio had just left, giving him privacy to change. Sluggishly, he peeled himself from the floor and put on his clothing. Opening the tent entrance let in the morning sun, and Lovino had to smile. Being this close to home was nice; however, the thought of it being destroyed was not. _As long as Feliciano was okay_, Lovino kept reminding himself.

Morning stretched on, the planes began to take off one by one. Ludwig led them, and they sped towards the Ghettos.

It was a short flight, and they silently flew circles over the area, watching the outbreak of army men fighting. Antonio was doing very well with his men. They were certainly too distracted to look up. Ludwig's mind strayed for a bit. Even the Ghettos of Italy were not bad looking. Sure, they weren't as marvelous as some of the other buildings, but they had a certain quality to them. History was embedded in the foundation of those buildings.

During his moment of thought, he did not notice that the army men did begin to look up. Many ran, trying to alert the others of the planes overhead. It looked like the big moment was here. Ludwig positioned his plane over the a vital area of the Ghettos, where the suspected main office of the enemy was. He pulled the gear next to him, releasing the bomb onto the cluster of buildings. Behind him, he saw the other planes follow suit.

Small men ran back and forth, ducking for cover, only to be hit by debris. Antonio had cleared out, along with most of his men. Buildings were crushed and smoke rose rapidly, polluting the air.

* * *

><p>"Feliciano, are you awake?"<p>

"mnn...?"

"They brought some food, it doesn't look great, but it's something."

Feliciano dragged his eyelids apart an sat up gingerly. He began picking at the slightly burned bread, Gilbert watched him. His red eyes were so full of concern. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I feel much better now that I've slept some. Thank you."

Gilbert nodded, happy that his friend was doing better simply after sleeping.

Suddenly, men came racing in. Gilbert scooted in front of Feliciano, ready to protect him at all costs. However, the men did not mess with them. Instead they ran past, grabbing weapons and other item. Some men even covered themselves. Prisoners groaned while Feliciano and Gilbert sat there confused. Shouting rang through the small space. Feliciano could roughly make out words such as, "bombs", and "Ghettos."

"Gilbert! Where are we?!"

"W- we're... oh my god."

A prisoner stood, shouting at the top of his lungs. Feliciano was frightened. Much too shocked to move, the two men sat there staring blankly at one another. The harsh scream of the prisoner's cry echoed through their minds. This was truly a disaster. The last thing Feliciano remembered was the prisoner's words as everything around him came crashing down.

"_The Ghettos! We're being bombed! We are going to die!"_

* * *

><p><strong><em>I s2g I will get to telling who the attacker is. Hint. It's not going to be Russia, he's so overused. This was kind of rushed and I changed tons of things through the process, anyway, hope you enjoy. <em>**


	8. Hear me Cry

_**Can I just say the reviews you guys leave me make me blush. Waa I love you all and I'm really surprised by this story because I'm not a very good writer, I just form ideas in my head and try to put them into words. But you're all saying such nice things and it just makes me so happy! Merci, Thank you!** _

Buildings shook, people ran out in a flood of fear. Feliciano and Gilbert were not in said flood. They were stuck behind the bars, wondering what would happen. Prisoners threw their bodies against the walls and bars in a feeble attempt of freedom. All was in vain. Explosions went off around them multiple times. Feliciano had to cover his ears and his bones seemed to rattle from the force of the explosions. Terror was all he felt.

Gilbert looked around the deteriorating cell. Blazing fires could be seen now. He had to get himself and his friend out of here before their building went completely up. None too late, a wall collapsed behind them. Reacting as quickly as possible, he grabbed Feliciano and began to drag him through the wide gap. However, when he looked up he noticed the ceiling shaking. It was about to cave in. With a harsh push, he shoved Feliciano out through the hole as the ceiling caved. Debris fell onto Gilbert, and he was pinned to the floor. Smoke was seeping in quickly and it was becoming a difficult task just trying to breathe.

It took several seconds for Feliciano's legs to manage a standing position. He hurriedly twisted around to grab Gilbert. The sight in front of him was intensely shocking. Gilbert lay under huge masses of ceiling and debris. A long gash marred his face, blood trickling down from his forehead.

"Gilbert! Can you hear me?!" No response. Fires blazed around him, burning the historical Ghettos. Planes landed around him and he shuddered, he wished he had a shirt on. The heat on his back stung, but he did not feel the pain as he rushed towards the German planes. Frantic eyes searched around for a sign of Ludwig.

Finally, Feliciano spotted him climbing out of the plane. Sweat rolled off of the Italian's body as he sprinted to his friend. Every second crawled by, like time was slowing around him, and he forced his tired body to continue running. He nearly fell into the blonde man's arms, taking in his familiar scent. Realization that everything was slowly getting better dawned on Feliciano and he almost smiled, until he remembered why he ran here.

At first he could not form words, but they managed to burst through. "Ludwig! Gilbert is stuck and he is not responsive! H-" Tears wracked his body as he looked into the blue eyes he loved dearly. They showed no expression, but Ludwig swept him into his arms and took off towards the flaming buildings.

"Where did he get stuck, Feliciano?"

Feliciano looked up and wiped his eyes before pointing to one building that had not yet been engulfed by the flames. Climbing over burning debris while carrying a person proved to be quite the challenge, but Ludwig managed. They reached the building within seconds.

"I'm going to have to set you down now." Feliciano nodded and Ludiwg gently placed him on the ground in an untouched area.

Ludwig observed the situation and started pulling off debris, not minding that it was burning his hands through his gloves. All he knew was that he had to get his brother out. He managed to get most of the debris off, but there was one piece remaining that pinned his brother's legs.

"Feliciano, hold him while I get the last piece clear." Shaky hands grabbed onto Gilbert's limp body, and Ludwig dragged off the last heavy wooden beam.

"Can you walk?"

Feliciano murmured a 'yes', and grimaced at the thought of his already aching feet. Ludwig threw his brother on his back and gripped Feliciano's hand with his. Together they walked back to the planes.

"I have people who need medical attention! The rest of you, I want you to search the area in hopes of finding the person leading the attacks on Italy. Is that clear?"

A chorus of answers came from the army men. Several groups took off towards the wreckage, and another came to the aid of Gilbert and Feliciano. They examined his back, determining that stitches would be necessary. Feliciano looked over to Gilbert, whose head was being washed and bandaged. He grabbed the wrist of the man who was about to examine the rest of his body. "Will Gilbert be alright?"

Startled, the young man cleared his throat. "It seems he has a major concussion and possible damage from smoke inhalation. His legs appear to be crushed and the wound on his head has leaked a massive amount of blood. It would be a miracle if he recovered. However, you've also taken quite a few injuries. Are these lacerations from whips?"

Feliciano clenched his teeth and nodded. If Gilbert did not survive this, what would Ludwig do? This was all of Feliciano's fault. He should have never come out here on his own. Disgust rose up in him, for himself, for his country, for everything.

Needles poked and prodded his back as they sowed the wounds shut carefully. According to the nurses, he also had several broken ribs and was suffering from minor smoke inhalation. However, he was still a country. What was still unknown was what would happen to Gilbert. Would he die? Could he die? He technically represented part of Germany, but... No, he would not think of that. Feliciano knew his friend would survive. He placed all of his hopes on that.

After several minutes, it seemed his back was completely sowed up. People brought him food and water, which he took thankfully. A blanket was wrapped around him. All he could think about was Gilbert, who was sleeping-or so he hoped- across from him. The rise and fall of Gilbert's chest was almost unnoticeable.

A black gloved hand rested on Feliciano's shoulders and he looked up to see Ludwig. Words seemed to be lodged at the back of his throat. He wanted to say so many things, but he didn't know how. How could could he apologize for basically killing Ludwig's brother? His eyes stung from the build up of tears, and he choked out a few unrecognizable noises before just leaning into Ludwig and resting his head on the man's stomach.

Feliciano really hated himself right now.

Ludwig was shocked for a moment, but began patting Feliciano's head. "You know, it's not your fault. He wanted to save you, even if that meant risking his own life. Also, Gilbert is strong. He will recover. I promise."

"..."

"Antonio and Lovino are very worried, would you like me to get them?"

Feliciano did not respond. He just gripped the material of Ludwig's jacket, twisting it in his fists. Tears fell and his sobs grew louder, until he couldn't even hear Ludwig's reassuring words. The blanket fell off of his shoulders and Ludwig gasped, taking in the stitched scars and bruises. Most of his body was discolored, with nasty bruises covering his face. Those normally pink, lush lips were cracked and dry. Beautiful auburn hair lay flat and lifeless. This was not the Feliciano Ludwig remembered.

He turned his head to one of his men, telling him to go retrieve Antonio and Lovino.

Within minutes, the two appeared.

Lovino threw himself onto his brother, shouting Italian words that Ludwig could make out as _idiot brother, stupid, please, never, I love you_. Antonio knelt beside the brothers and Ludwig stood back. However, Feliciano's grip did not loosen from his jacket.

Antonio stood once more and looked to his dear friend, Gilbert. He walked over and sat quietly, sending prayers for him. Lovino joined him after finally peeling himself off of his brother. He placed an arm over Antonio, and they sat there in silence. Antonio clung to his friend's hand, tears falling from his eyes. Lovino realized that this was the first time he had ever seen his lover cry.

Ludwig grabbed the small wrists and brought them back to Feliciano's sides. "Please do not cry. You just wanted to save your country. I believe you did the right thing. Maybe a little reckless, but I admire your bravery."

Feliciano looked up ,his hand touching Ludwig's cheek. He nodded. "T-thank you."

Ludwig grunted in return and headed over to his brother. Gilbert stirred, his eyes fluttering open. Once he saw all of his friends gathered around, he smiled. Antonio nearly screamed and started kissing every inch of his friend's face. Ludwig stood there with a smile.

Feliciano knelt down next to Gilbert and took his hand. "Thank you, Gilbert."

"No need to thank me... I wanted to do this. You're on of my best friends."

Feliciano nodded, wiping his tears with his free hand.

Gilbert chuckled, "And besides. Once we're all healed up, I'm gonna have a wedding ceremony for you and Idiot West over there!"

Ludwig blushed "W-what?" Feliciano giggled and nodded in relief and kissed Gilbert's hand. Feliciano then stood and took Ludwig's hand, tracing patterns on the palm. "I- I love you, Ludwig."

"Oh, I love you too, Feliciano."

"No, I meant as more than just a friend. I love you like a man loves his wife, Ludwig. I have for some time."

"..."

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, and you don't want to be friends anymore but I was just tired of holding in all of those emotions and you never seemed to notice how I fel-" Feliciano stopped to gather air. He just said all of those things in one breath. How would Ludwig react?

What happened was not what Feliciano was expecting at all.

Ludwig carefully picked up the smaller body and tenderly placed his lips on Feliciano's. Truthfully, Ludwig had also felt attracted to his friend, but he ignored it as just a brotherly love. He soon came to realize it was more than just that, but he did not want to scare Feliciano away. All of this time, and they had felt the same?

"Well, it's about damn time!" Gilbert shouted. Ludwig blushed and set Feliciano back on the ground, but he intertwined their hands. Gilbert coughed several times and Ludwig looked at him.

"Glad you're still alive, big bruder."

"Yea, I am too. Now why don't you give you jacket to your boyfriend, considering he's half naked and shivering?"

Ludwig was about to say something childish like, _he's not my boyfriend!_, but his hands went straight to his jacket, shrugging it off. He carefully placed it on Feliciano's shoulders. The Italian looked up to him and smiled. It was nice to see that smile again.

At that moment, the men Ludwig sent to find the attacker jogged towards them, dragging a limp body behind them. When they reached the group, one man spoke up. "We believe this is the man that was involved with leading the attacks on Italy. He will not tell us anything."

Slowly, the man lifted his head. This was the moment they'd all been waiting for. Ludwig would surely k- Everyone was stunned into silence as they looked at th dirty face. The man's eyes showed regret and mild discomfort.

Antonio was the first one able to speak.

"_Wang Yao?!"_

* * *

><p><em><strong>okay goodbye pls don't hate me I love you all. Apologies in advanced shhh. <strong>_


	9. Update and other News

_**So, it's been around 7 months... I'm back now! Working on the next chapter, hopefully you guys still want to read it :P Sorry for such a delay, it's been awfully busy. I just wanted to thank all of the people who supported me during this weird time of writing. As I'm sure (or not) I stated before, this story was just a drabble I began with, but it turned into so much more because of you guys. I hope you all really enjoy the next (possible final) chapter of Falling to Pieces. :)**_


	10. Point of no Return

**_sometimes i go back and look at my chapters and notice all those mistakes and that's just to say that I don't have time to beta these and go through them thoroughly, so you may see some second grade grammar errors and I am very sorry for that. _**

_"Feliciano. I never wanted to do this. You know we can not just outright refuse boss orders! I have nothing against you..."_

Feliciano stood, holding onto Ludwig's arm. This entire time it had been Wang Yao. Causing all of this... pain, torture? Stunned into silence, he looked at the man on the ground with wide eyes.

Lovino was appalled. He stepped forward and smacked the man brutally across the face. Even Ludwig flinched. Wang showed no sign of pain, only deep regret.

"You could have killed us! I know you can't refuse boss orders but, honestly, this is below you, Wang. I expected so much more out of you." Lovino's words stung even to the people around him. Feliciano still could not find words.

Gilbert sat up so abruptly that several stitches popped, which he seemed not to notice. Medics rushed around attempting to fix his wound. Antonio sat stunned in silence, his hand -that was not currently reaching out to Lovino- covered his mouth in shock.

Words finally reached Feliciano. "Lock him and as many men of his away as you can. Burn them. Make him watch. Make him feel the same pain I've felt while he's been doing this to my country."

"Surely, you don't mean that?" Ludwig looked at the small man next to him, the fire burning in those amber eyes was terrifyingly bright.

Feliciano let go of Ludwig and stepped toward Wang. Everyone noticed the slight flinch as Feliciano stood before him. He raised a hand as Ludwig closed his eyes, prepared to hear the sound of skin impacting with skin-

But it never came.

Feliciano gently stroked the now shivering man's face. It was evident he was not cold, but there was something about the usually kind Italian that seemed... Off. Ludwig didn't really know how to describe it. Feliciano froze, hand hovering on Wang's dirt smudged cheek. He cocked his head and looked into the eyes of all of his friends. Words could not describe what he felt inside, hell, he didn't even know what he was feeling. Immense anger?

For all intents and purposes, Wang would be punished. What was left of the Italian army marched forward to grab members of the opposing troops. They fought and fought, but there was a new found purpose in the Italians. The struggle of the attackers were fruitless as they were hauled away. He spared one side long glance at Wang before waving to the men holding him.

The Chinese man shot up then, the grip of the soldiers on his arms loosening, sending him face first on the ground. He looked at Feliciano and silently pleaded with him. The Italian showed no sign of even paying him attention. He grabbed Ludwig's hand and walked off leaving everyone confused.

The soldiers hauled Wang up once again and carried him off to what he thought of as his impending doom. Sometimes he could be a tad overly dramatic, he thought to himself.

* * *

><p><em>"Feliciano!"<em> Ludwig all but panted while attempting to keep up with the surprisingly quick pace of the Italian. "What's wrong? You seem different."

This halted Feliciano, and he turned to look into worried blue eyes. Ludwig looked at him expectantly, but Feliciano just smiled.

Something about that smile sent shivers down Ludwig's spine. He suddenly felt very cold and out of place. His palms had begun sweating after Feliciano had made the terrible decision on Wang's army, but the Italian seemed not to mind. He strode forward, pulling Ludwig with him, up to a rather grand building. It stood out with stark contrast compared to the charred buildings and carnage of war all around them.

The towering building must have been several stories tall, a large ornate golden bell chiming atop the regal arches of the roof. The wide oak door swung open and a cold draft of air washed over Ludwig. It would have felt refreshing had he not been so worried about Feliciano...

They stepped into the large entrance room, covered in maroon wall paper, a breathtakingly beautiful chandelier hanging above. A set of stairs stood before them, towering almost menacingly, Ludwig thought. The building seemed unoccupied for the most part. There were cobwebs in corners, stairs had a considerable amount of dust on them.

Ludwig was so distracted by the scene around him that he almost missed Feliciano muttering to himself. He picked up on certain things like, _'cleaning the place up' _and _'new kingdom.' _Ludwig thought nothing of it at the moment.

Feliciano led Ludwig up the grand staircase, veering to the right once they reached the top. The room they entered into was obviously a sort of bed room. A massive bed stood in the center with golden pillows resting atop satin sheets with floral designs. The nightstand next to it held a picture that Ludwig could not make out from this distance. A fireplace was adjacent from the bed, illuminating the creamy wall and shining brightly on a photo of Italy many years ago.

The first thought to cross Ludwig's mind was '_why is the fireplace lit?'_

Feliciano strode over to the window and gazed out of it for what seemed like hours. Finally he turned to face Ludwig, the orange light of sunset making his soft features almost ghastly. The usual welcoming amber eyes burning the harsh orange of fire. A smile danced across his lips. Ludwig raised an eyebrow, and Feliciano grabbed his hand, pulling him to the large bed.

"I'm so glad we can finally be _alone_. Don't you agree, Ludwig?" he questions, the look in his eyes almost daring Ludwig to ask him about his strange behavior.

"Of course, Feliciano. But you've been through so much, I think you should rest."

At that, Feliciano laughed and placed his small hand on Ludwig's chest, a glint in his eyes making Ludwig nervous. Feliciano pushed him onto the bed and crawled onto him, straddling his hips. He leaned in to kiss Ludwig. Soft at first, but gradually growing more heated. Ludwig let out a satisfied noise when Feliciano's tongue swept across his lips. His mouth opened and Feliciano lay fully atop Ludwig. The feeling of Feliciano's tongue on his sent shivers down his spine.

When they broke their kisses for air, Feliciano looked deep into his eyes, one hand coming up to cradle his cheek.

"Oh, Ludwig. There is hardly time for rest." He smiled, his eyes narrowing. " A change is coming."


	11. Redeemed

**you honestly have no idea how many times i accidentally typed yaoi instead of yao it was terrible. **

Ludwig grabbed Feliciano's bare shoulders and lifted him up, looking into his eyes.

"Feliciano, what do you mean by _change_?" he questions.

"I simply mean exactly what I said. Change. Do not fret, Ludwig. You'll see." Feliciano winked and grinned, resting on his elbows. But that shift seemed to cause him pain. He winced, rolling over and letting out a deep breath.

"Are you okay, Feliciano? Are you hurt?"

He waved off the questions, suppressing his grimace with a weak smile. "I'm fine, don't worry. Just some sore spots. Feliciano didn't want to worry Ludwig with his aches and pains. That was foolish, and Feliciano had no time for foolishness.

"Ludwig, if you don't mind, I'm going to step out and talk to the guards."

"Sure, go ahead. Do you want me to go find Toni and Lovi? And Gil?"

Feliciano hesitated for a moment, squinting at his hands. "No." Without another word, he walked out of the room, Ludwig's eyes trailing him to the door.

Once Feliciano was out of Ludwig's sight, he slumped down, cringing in pain. The damage done to his country was taking its toll on him immensely. His brother must be feeling something by now.

Speaking of his brother... He approached the guard standing outside the building. "Bring me Lovino and Antonio. Take Gilbert and give him your best medical care."

The guard nodded and walked off, replaced by yet another guard as to ensure safety. Feliciano smiled. He would slowly regain order to his country. And Wang Yao would pay the ultimate price.

_Ultimate price? My god, Feliciano. What has gotten into you?_ He blinked several times in confusion. _What_ has gotten into him? He isn't quite sure, but he knows it probably isn't good. It wasn't really Wang's fault, he tells himself. He certainly knows that one cannot disregard the commands of their leaders. But the real question is, why was the command given?

Feliciano walks along, heading to the place where Wang is being kept. Maybe if he questions him personally, he will actually get a reason. Upon entering the building, he detects a rather pungent smell of rust. He soon finds out why. There are bodies everywhere. Some charred, some mutilated. They all lay on the floor, with Wang tied to a chair in the middle of the cramped room. He looks terrible. There are multiple cuts on his face, his arms strung upward, covered in filth. He looks up slowly, noting Feliciano's presence.

"What do you want, Feliciano?" He croaks, and feeling sorry for him, Feliciano tells a guard to grab a glass of water, which he pours into Wang's mouth.

"I simply want to know why. Why would you do this?" The tone of his voice causes Wang to glance to the ground guiltily, causing anger to swell in Feliciano. He sighs, grabbing the man's sweat covered chin and bringing his head up. "Tell. Me. Why."

"Feliciano, it was a direct order. Why do I need to tell you more than that?"

"Because you nearly killed me!"

"I didn't make you come out here and get yourself tortured. That's on you."

"YOUR men are attacking my country, and in turn, I'm dying. Don't you see? Look at my back. None of my injuries have healed yet!"

"I'm really sorry. It's a matter of politics, really. Maybe you should start paying attention to things." Wang smirked and laughed, though it sounded more like a choking noise. Feliciano gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to lash out at the man. He did, however, throw the rest of the water on him, which caused a surprised gasp from Wang.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"Everything?" Feliciano stood up, throwing the cup to the side and whispering something to the guard that Wang couldn't make out. He left, breathing in the fresh air. He was going to change himself, regardless of what other people thought. He absolutely hated being looked down upon, and being called immature or airheaded. When would people realize it was all an act? He needed to talk to Ludwig, confide in him. He needed support.

But first, he would check on his Brother. Feliciano made his way back to the building, hoping that the guard returned with his friends.

"Have you retrieved my brother and Antonio? How is Gilbert doing?"

"Yes, both of the men are in there with your German, er.. Friend. Gilbert is not doing so well, however. He can't seem to recover. He keeps fading in and out of consciousness. It's not looking so good for him. Maybe it'll be easier if you all go visit him?"

Feliciano's face fell at the news. "Of course. Right away. Please, let them all know to join me. I'll be going right now."

The guard nodded, walking inside the building. Feliciano broke into a run towards the emergency facilities. It caused him an immense amount of pain, but he did not care. He always had a deep spot in his heart for Gilbert. The Prussian made him ecstatic and entertained. He loved Gilbert.

He ran into the building, bursting through the doors and surprising the nurses. Even Gilbert looked shocked to see him. Well, as shocked as one could look while probably being in utter pain. He looked awful, his eyes not shining with his usual energy. Hair matted down with dirt and dust, making him look about twenty years older. Feliciano let out a shaky sigh and hugged the man tightly.

"Ouch, Feli. Get your shoulder out of my neck!" he complained loudly, and Feliciano chuckled, wiping tears away from his eyes.

"Why are you crying? I'm perfectly fine!"

"Gil, I've seen perfectly fine, and you are not it."

"Ouch, Feli. You're hurting my ego" he teased, laughing softly. Feliciano grinned, swatting his arm lightly. "Besides, I can't have anything happen to me yet, I haven't gotten to see you and my brother get married! I need to be your Brother in law before I can move on." He winked at Feliciano and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

Feliciano nearly fell over. "Don't worry about that stuff! Worry about yourself! You need to get better, or I won't marry him at all" Feliciano shot back.

"Won't be marrying who?" came Ludwig's deep voice from behind them.

Gilbert nearly fainted from laughing so hard, while Feliciano blushed absurdly, looking to Antonio. His eyes roamed over his brother and he ceased laughing immediately. The grey bags under Lovi's eyes stuck out roughly against his paling skin. He seemed to be clinging onto to Antonio's hand like a life support. Which, Feliciano thought, it probably was. He stood up and walked across the room, enveloping his brother into a firm hug. Lovino's arms wrapped around him, his head resting on Feliciano's shoulder. Antonio joined their hug, even Ludwig joined. He could hear Lovino sniffling and was instantly surprised. Had he ever heard his brother cry? He decided that, no, Lovino had never cried in front of Feliciano.

No matter how much he pretended not to, he had immense respect for his elder brother. Lovino was tough and witty, but caring and loyal. Feliciano couldn't ask for such a better sibling. He made a mental note to himself that, if he survives this whole ordeal, he needs to spend more time with Seborga. Family is important.

"I would join your little cuddle fest, but I'm apparently not allowed to leave this bed" Gilbert grumbled.

"It's okay. There will be plenty more when you're all better" Feliciano assured him and bent down, gently kissing Gilbert's cheek. Gilbert smiled, a little of his usual light returning to his eyes.

"Thank you, Feliciano. But you wouldn't want to make Ludwig jealous, would you?" Gilbert smirked.

"I'll wipe that shit eating grin off your face, Gil." Ludwig smirked.

"Ha! I'd like to see you try. You wouldn't harm a fly, little bro" Gilbert mocked.

Feliciano knew this was the brothers' way of telling them they loved each other, and he smiled.

"Guess we should let you rest, Gil. See you at the wedding." Feliciano laughed when Ludwig muttered 'What.' Gilbert winked at him and began conversing with Antonio. Feliciano noted that Lovino never released his hand.

Once they were outside, Feliciano turned on Ludwig. "I'm honestly really worried about Gilbert..."

Ludwig sighed, running a nervous hand through his hair. "Me too. I'm not sure what will happen to him, since he isn't technically still a country..."

Feliciano observed Ludwig, looking at every inch of him. Noticing every new wrinkle appearing in his forehead. The stress marks under his eyes, his disheveled hair.

"Just... Promise me you won't fall apart? You're all I have for support. And I love you."

Ludwig smiled softly at Feliciano. "Of course, I'll always be here for you. So will Gilbert. Don't worry too much. I love you too." Ludwig bent over and kissed Feliciano, who smiled against his lips.

"You know," Feliciano started. "I don't think I can ever get used to this. I've loved you for so long, and now you're finally mine. I can't quite wrap my head around that."

"Well, I'll always be yours. Even if all you ever eat is pasta..." Ludwig looked off into the distance and Feliciano gaped at him.

"Are you really complaining about my diet, Mr. Potatoes-for-every-meal? At least I have some variety!" He playfully swatted at Ludwig's arm, giggling and kissing him on the cheek.

Antonio came out then, with Lovino attached to his hand. He smiled at the two in each others arms. "They say Gilbert can join us at our current residence soon. He must be recovering some. Hopefully all will go well!"

Feliciano always admired Antonio's optimism. It filled an entire room with hope. He was really happy that his brother had someone to outmatch his crabbiness with joy.

"That's so great! Why don't you guys head back to the building? I have some things to take care of, but I'll join you later." Feliciano said.

Ludwig looked reluctant to let Feliciano go anywhere by himself, but he nodded, kissing him quickly. He walked in the direction of their building, Toni and Lovi following suit. Feliciano sighed, running a hand across his face. He rolled his shoulders before heading off towards the current POW site. He needed to talk to Wang Yao again.

When he entered, he noticed a lack of bodies. "Seems like someone cleaned up for you." he said.

"Hmm, yea. Such a courtesy. I'm much obliged." Feliciano was shocked at how much sarcasm this man could muster up in such a situation. He sighed again. Honestly, his stress level must be off the charts right now. "Could you just give me a solid answer as to why you had to attack my country?" he tries, pacing in front of Wang.

"You want an honest answer? Your boss was being a piece of shit. Kept putting his input in everything when it really wasn't necessary. My boss got fed up with it, told him if he didn't stop he'd make him. Your boss didn't take kindly to that. He threatened us as a whole, told my boss he'd 'wreck us' and we couldn't do anything about it. So, you're here dying over a petty fight because your dumb boss couldn't shut his mouth for a whole two minutes. Are you happy now? Was that what you wanted to hear?" Wang's voice rose until he was nearly shouting, spit flying out of his mouth as he talked. Feliciano looked at him, really looked at him. He didn't know what to say.

All this trouble because of a silly argument. Feliciano scoffed.

"Are you going to let me go now?"

"Hardly." And he left. Ran out like nothing was happening. He ran as far as his legs could carry him, until there was nothing surrounding him but empty country side. He fells to his knees, pulling on his hair. Tears pooled in his eyes and he let them flow freely. He couldn't take this. It was too much, and the scream that shot out of him sounded as if he'd been beaten bloody. The emotions were crippling. He lay on the ground curled up tightly. He sobbed as loud as he could, pent-up emotions bursting out of him.

His country was a mess, he realized that now. He needed a new boss. He had a goal in mind and he planned to see it through no matter what.


	12. Clarity

**Hiiiii. I've been gone for so long. But I feel that all of you who left great reviews and supported me through this really deserve to have more of it, so I'm here to give it to you! Since I have been gone, this chapter is going to be a bit more of a filler, but I think you guys will definitely enjoy it! I also really recommend listening to the Acoustic version of Super Love by Dami Im. I was listening to it the entire time I wrote this. Love you guys. xoxo**

**Warning: Molestation. And before I get any rude comments about why I would add this into my story, I just want to say that I'm a victim of this as well. It can happen to anybody, anywhere. IT is never a good thing. **

Lovino decided it was time to end this ridiculous attitude towards Ludwig. He could clearly see that the German was everything his little brother wanted. Hell, he was everything Feliciano needed. Lovino cracked his knuckles, following Antonio and Ludwig into their current home. He looked to his Spaniard, hugging him around the waist.

"Antonio, I'm going to go talk to Ludwig privately for a moment." Antonio looked a little confused, but nodded and smiled fondly. Lovino walked over to Ludwig, grabbing his wrist and giving him no time to question what was happening. He dragged them down a hallway, turned a few corners, and finally stopped by a tall window.

"Ludwig."

"Lovino?"

Lovino huffed, he hated admitting things, but this was for his younger brother, so he would get over it. "I wanted to apologize for always being such a monumental ass to you. You really didn't deserve it. I guess I only treated you like that because I was jealous. Feliciano adored you and always gave you so much of his time and attention. And I..."

He looked up at Ludwig who was... smiling? Like an actual little kid, complete with the soft giggling. "Ludwig?"

The German coughed and composed himself. "Sorry, I just always thought I was a nuisance to you or something? It's just exciting to hear this because I always thought you were an interesting being."

Lovino's eyes widened. "Really? The most interesting thing about me is this weird ass piece of hair. But Feliciano also has that, so I guess it isn't _that _interesting."

Ludwig laughed and raised his hand to put it on the shorter man's shoulder, but he stopped, unsure if he was allowed to do that. Lovino scoffed and grabbed his hand, placing it onto his shoulder. "Lovino, you're far more interesting than you believe yourself to be. Especially around Antonio. It's like he brings something out in you. Your face is lit up and you look so incredibly happy. It is amazing really. Even Feliciano sees that. He loves talking about you, and honestly don't tell him I told you this, but he has serious respect and admiration for you. He adores you. Before you were actually together with Antonio, he always talked about how sad and distant you were, and that all he wanted was for you to be happy.."

The Italian was taken aback. All this time, he thought Ludwig only tolerated him for Feliciano. He knew he was an insecure person, and he knew all his brother wanted to do was help him. But he never realized that he did have people that cared for him and loved him. Right then and there he knew he wanted to change. He wanted to be a better brother, a better lover, and most of all, a better friend. He sighed, smiling kindly. "Thank you for this, Ludwig. I really needed it."

"The pleasure was mine." His blue eyes were full of nothing but kindness. "Also, Ludwig. When the time comes. I give you my blessing to marry Feliciano." He winked, sauntering off and leaving Ludwig to cough and sputter, his face turning a dark shade of red.

Now, to face his next problem. His body ached all over. There was this constant pain in his chest that never eased up. Lovino wasn't sure how to fix any of this, and it was really taking it out of him. He would have to talk to Feliciano. He seemed to have good control over what was happening inside of him. However, since his brother was who knows where doing who knows what, he would talk to Antonio for the moment. This was going to be immensely harder than his talk with Ludwig. This was his raw emotion, his love he was talking about.

* * *

><p>Feliciano decided he needed a drink. Or several. He pulled himself together, hoping his face wasn't too red and puffy. Was there even a bar left in this part of Italy?<p>

Of course there was. Bars were popular here, there was bound to be one open. He slowly made his way back into town, walking down the mostly undamaged streets. At last he saw his destination. A shabby little bar with a handful of people. He walked inside, smiled to the mass, and sat at the bar.

"One of everything, please."

The bartender eyed Feliciano carefully, setting multiple drinks in front of him. Feliciano cracked his neck, grabbed a glass and practically inhaled it. He snorted, what would Ludwig think of him doing this? That thought quickly left his mind after he downed his third glass. He just wanted to forget everything if only for a moment.

* * *

><p>Antonio watched as Ludwig and Lovino walked into the room again. He was wondering what they talked about, but decided it was probably none of his business. He smiled when Lovino walked over to him, grabbing his wrist just as he had done to Ludwig. When they finally stopped walking, they were in front of a window, which Antonio was sure this was where they had talked previously. He could see a conflict of emotions in Lovino's eyes, and the slightest blush on his tan cheeks.<p>

"Antonio... You know I love you, right?"

Antonio smiled at the Italian. "Well, I did suspect it, as we share a bed. And a home" he teased. Lovino shot him a glare, but the small smile on his face ruined it. But then he became more serious.

"I mean it, Antonio. I'm not really good at these things, but with everything happening, I decided now would be a good time to come to terms with myself. And with that, means telling you how I feel. I love you, Antonio. I know I'm not the nicest person, or the most considerate. But you make me happy. You make me enjoy things more. I love being with you, even if I sometimes treat you like shit. Which I'm sorry for." Lovino sighed.

Antonio grinned, wrapping his arms around Lovino's frame. He leaned down to Lovino's ears and smirked. In a soft whisper, he said "I love you too, Lovino. You mean the world to me, and I wouldn't change you no matter what. You are perfect to me. In every way. You are absolutely beautiful. And I want to be with you forever."

He could feel Lovino shaking in his arms, trying to find a way to respond. When he mustered up the ability to talk, it came out very breathy. "S-same."

Antonio laughed, stretching his arms to look at Lovino's face. "Same? That is all you could come up with?" Lovino glared at him and meant to smack his chest, but Antonio caught his hands and pinned them above their heads. His lips met Lovino's and he sighed into the kiss. He dropped their hands in favor for Lovino's waist. The Italian wrapped his arms around Antonio's neck.

"I love you, Antonio."

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>Ludwig was beginning to worry. He hadn't seen Feliciano in a while. He wondered if he should go search for him. At that same moment, Lovino and Antonio walked into the room, their faces flushed. Ludwig raised an eyebrow, but Antonio just grinned at him. Antonio took to looking around the room, then to Ludwig. "Where is Feliciano?"<p>

Ludwig shrugged. "He told us he had to go take care of something, but I have no idea what that means. I was beginning to think I should go look for him." Lovino and Antonio both nodded. Ludwig stood, stretching his legs. "Are you two going to come with me, or should I leave you lovebirds alone?"

If Lovino's face could get any redder, it would win an award. Antonio grinned and began to say yes, but Lovino hopped forward, rushing towards the door. "I'll go with you!." Antonio pouted but joined him by the door anyway. Ludwig shook his head at the two before making their way out the door.

Ludwig looked around. "If I were a Feliciano, where would I be?"

Lovino snorted.

* * *

><p>Feliciano's vision was becoming blurry. He didn't dare get off his seat for fear he would fall. But he knew he had to. His friends were probably getting worried about him. He gingerly stepped down from the stool, wobbling slightly. His head pounded and he groaned. Now he remembered why he didn't like to drink.<p>

Feliciano slowly made his way to the door of the bar, grabbing it to steady himself. He imagined he was probably walking with the pace of a snail, but it didn't matter. As long as he could get himself home and into bed, he didn't care.

As he was walking, he noticed someone behind him. They were walking awfully close to Feliciano. He turned to ask the person what they wanted, but before he could, he was being slammed into a wall. a knee slid between his legs and he gasped. "What do you want?"

The man laughed, taking both of Feliciano's wrists into one of his hands. With his other hand, he began rubbing down Feliciano's side. Feliciano wanted to scream, but his throat wouldn't let him. He was so so scared. All he wanted right now was for Ludwig to be there, holding him instead of this stranger. The stranger's hand began to slide under Feliciano's shirt, running across his chest.

"My, my. You're awfully skinny." The man's voice was deep and rough.

"No!" The man did not stop. Feliciano was scared for his life. He tried to move away, but the man had him pushed uncomfortably into the wall, the bricks digging into his wounds. The man laughed at him. Feliciano shuddered, trying not to cry. Whatever buzz he had was gone, his mind completely focused on what was happening. As the man moved his face into the crook of Feliciano's neck and began biting at the skin, Feliciano found the ability to shout.

_"GET OFF OF ME!"_

* * *

><p>Ludwig heard the shout. He took off in a run, Antonio and Lovino followed suit. When he reached Feliciano, he couldn't believe what he saw.<p>

Feliciano was shaking, on the verge of tears as a man had him pinned against a wall. He wasted no time. He grabbed the man roughly by the shoulder and punched him square in the face. The mad stumbled backwards, holding his nose. "What the hell!"

Ludwig glared at the man. "Keep your hands off of what isn't yours." His voice came out in a snarl, and he could see the fear in the man's eyes as he turned to run. He turned around to see Feliciano clinging to his brother and sobbing onto his shirt. Lovino looked scared and confused as he held onto Feliciano, gently stroking his hair. Antonio was rubbing circles into Feliciano's back, telling him it was all going to be okay.

Ludwig approached him, unsure of what to do. But he didn't have to do anything. Feliciano grabbed onto his hand and squeezed it. They walked back to the building, hand in hand. Feliciano was quiet the entire time, but his face looked concentrated. When they were back inside, everyone gathered into his and Feliciano's room. They all sat on the bed.

Nobody said anything for a long time. They all just sat there. Feliciano didn't cry. He was tired of feeling weak and helpless. When Lovino and Antonio finally left with big yawns, Feliciano looked at Ludwig.

The Italian crawled over to Ludwig and wrapped his arms around him. Ludwig sighed and kissed the top of Feliciano's hair. They were silent for a moment, just holding each other. Ludwig was getting tired, so he shifted Feliciano until they were laying down, Feliciano's head on Ludwig's chest. Feliciano listened to the comforting rhythm of Ludwig's heartbeat. It was then that he made his decision. He propped his head up and looked into Ludwig's eyes.

"Will you teach me to fight?"

"What?"

"Teach me to fight. I'm tired of always feeling helpless."

Ludwig searched Feliciano's face. He was serious. Ludwig nodded, watching Feliciano. The Italian grinned, kissing Ludwig on the cheek. He settled down onto the bed and snuggled up to Ludwig. Feliciano fell asleep before Ludwig did. He just stared at the ceiling, listening to Feliciano's breathing.

He looked down to the sleeping Italian. His eyebrows were scrunched together as if he were having a bad dream. Luwig kissed the skin in between them, and hugged him tighter.

"I love you, Feliciano."

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><p><strong>THANK YOU FOR READING! And I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I'm a terrible writer :P Love you all<strong>


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